getting closer to seeing something that has been observed for thousands of years
At the beginning of the year, I registered for an online course created by Sundance to write a solid outline for a feature film that was ready to be written in script form. Since most of my work has been less than 20 pages, I thought this was a great way to push myself to write something longer. I purposely signed up for the late March class to hopefully come up with some sort of story I would want to develop into a longer one, but now, in early April, two weeks into the class... I still got nothing.
Well, maybe not nothing- I have my usual looping thoughts about consciousness, the self, and limitations of those. While cat-sitting for a friend this past week, I have tried to utilize her perfect white wall to "Beautiful Minds" my spiraling thoughts. I thought that this should surely visually give me a hint as to what specifically in this dense forest of thoughts I would like to particularly talk about. However, through this process, I found that I still have so many more questions to explore, and that I am deeply unsure what "theme" and "message" I want to share with the world in my current state.
Over the past few days, I have been researching sea consciousness, astrophysics, fractals, systems, etc., to strengthen and support the theories I have developed in my mind. And although this is all proving super helpful in putting into words the concepts I want to talk about, the process is not a fast one. There are so many ideas I want to share, but only so much time to fit everything in one story. But in my mind, there is no way to talk about a part of a whole without showing what my whole looks like to begin with. How do you talk about the head of the ouroborus without talking about its tail?
This entry isn't like the ones I usually post, and that's fine. I guess I just wanted to vent about the frustrations of trying to create something that takes time in a world where speed seems to be of the highest value. All I can do is hope that all this research and brainstorming will speed up the creative process.
